England’s Flat Battery Gives Ireland Jump Start

To the delight of every Scots non-gender specific person around the world, England’s season ground to a halt in Murrayfield on Saturday with Eddie Jones’s team never getting started. JK Rowling, Scotland’s most successful and fluent wordsmiths summed up the match very well with her succinct tweets:

So England go to Paris in two weeks after a fortnight of wound licking to try and restart the bus, whilst the victorious Scots will head to Dublin. Ireland’s 10 point margin didn’t express the tightness of the victory, where if fortune had favoured the Scarlets, sorry, Welsh, it could easily have been a draw if not a Welsh win.
Ireland though are playing cup rugby at the moment, and having picked up 2 bonus points out of 3 have developed a worrying 5 point cushion at the top of the table. Which means should they manage another 4 tryer against Scotland, they would at most need only a losing bonus point against England for the Championship. Now there’s a thought!

Weekend Winners
Scotland’s win threw the Bobcat very much amongst the pigeons, and those few who called it right reaped the benefits. Those scoring 50 points deserve a mention therefore for brave calls:

“About time I got a mention after 10 years doing this” said inventor and erstwhile datacentre designer Jon Shannow from his mancave. “54 points, that’s impressive isn’t it? I better win a prize this time or I’ll kick you in the head”
Sinead Nolan shares this week’s top prize, the Jones Engineering Welder of the Week Award, a welding course for two in a 4 star portacabin in Grange Castle – last year’s most popular prize.
“Will I have to share the portacabin with Jon Shannow?” asked a nervous Nolan.
The results have rocked the overall league table, dropping previous leader Phil Coutts to 27th (and he scored 29 points on the 2 games England didn’t play in) and sends Niall O’Kelly into top spot.

O’Kelly wins the Serviceworks Solid Crew Award for topping the table in the middle of the competition. “I am overjoyed” said O’Kelly. “It’s not a welder’s course is it?”
Previously 6th, 46 points this weekend has given O’Kelly a 9 point lead over Paul Cooper, with an experienced looking chasing bunch including the Grennan brothers from Dundalk, Tom “Hospital Pass” Costello, Pat McDevitt a previous winner, Tom the GAA man Dillon, and a dodgy looking trio from the Mercury apprentice school of Holmes, Reilly and Burke.

Last time out
We had two split decisions for prizes last time, with The Mercury Engineering Bright Spark Award divided between Mark Blessing and Robert Costello. Blessing wins out on a better performance this week and picks up the €200 Bridal Make Over Voucher.
The other, the Mac Interiors Nil Point Award, was hung between Pat Unger, Brian Mattson and Adrian Harlow. This weekend they scored -21, -29 and +6 respectively, so the prize goes to Adrian Harlow.
“Well I’m delighted to get it obviously” said a disconsolate Harlow from his houseboat on the Cam. “But my forecast (again) of an English grand slam is in tatters. And to Scotland. I ask you.”
Harlow wins a €200 bingo voucher, and a lifetime supply of O2 England Grand Slam 2018 t shirts.